Friday, September 7, 2012
There are somethings you need to tell yourself
Dear Teenage Self,
There is a lot of things that I should tell you. There is a lot of things I won't, because mistakes are how you grow. However, when you're going to your college orientation could you not answer the girl sitting beside you who asks, "What's the guy's name that's on stage?" Cause mildly attractive guy will try to embarrass you by saying: "Um no my zipper isn't down that's just how these shorts are made. Yeah I can read lips."
Actually could you not correct him: "Well, if you could read lips so well then you'd know I said I think his name is Mitch. But it's all cool you think I'm checking out your zipper area." Cause there will be a time when you have to take an important test and you will be two minutes late because your professor decided to talk OVER his time frame which will make you have to run across campus in a full sprint. But it will be for nothing because you're two minutes late. Well, it will be for nothing, since guy from stage remembers you. He says, "Um that test just closed." And you know that he could have easily helped u and he knows it too cause it's written all over his smug face like, "Ha" pay back is such a bitch.
So, you will end up with a big fat zero for this test. Then your teacher will give you a load of make up work which you will end up doing on a bus going to Washington and you will lose most of your work when your crazy ass speech coach pulls an illegal U turn in the middle of oncoming traffic. Person sitting with you will Freak out, making you freak out and in the middle of this books will drop and papers will scatter. You'll get a C- on the paper.