Sunday, June 15, 2014

My shoesies are super cuties

Before my typing fingers take over, Happy Father's day to those who are spawn creating, and proud to be dad's. 
And now onwards to my post.
At a picnic this weekend someone said, "Oh you have the cutest shoes." Of course I thanked them and then they asked, "Where did you get them?" Now, shoes are like a woman's soul. It sounds crazy. It even sounds a little too sex in the city, but believe me it's the truth. We have a reason for buying shoes, and we might have lots of them. It doesn't matter if we have 5 different pairs of black shoes, they're all different. Some are sandals made for summer events, near a beach or lake, some are sexy heels made for a hot date or restaurant type event, point is because honestly I could type all day about this is that they're different. Anyways the particular pair of shoes I was wearing happen to be a simple leather wedge sandal that I actually had since I was 16. YES. I had these babies for a long time. 

But as I was thinking about my shoes I was thinking about the story behind my shoes. Because if these shoes could actually talk about where they've been or how much trouble they caused me they would say this.

I almost killed my owner on the first day she purchased me. She argued with her grandmother who warned her that I would be a danger to her until she learned to walk in me. But, she decided to be stubborn and wore me anyways. Well, my owner decided she was going to go on to the escalator and one foot got two steps in front of the other. She could have easily saved herself if she would have parted with one of me, but she was stubborn and didn't and as we were coming to the top she finally balanced herself out and everything was okay, but it was literally touch and go there. 

The next time she decided to wear me, we were on the stairs at her High School. Guy she had the biggest sappiest crush on was a few steps in front of her. I decided to help her make her love connection by leaving her foot at the exact moment Lover boy stops on his landing to the floor he was about to get on, and Boom, hit him right on his nice behind. mmm hmmm that's right. Right in his bottom. he turned and my owner dodge him and my awesome attempt to make a connection, sneaked around some people snatched her shoe away before prince charming could see miss cinderella lost me, and then she ran down the hall. Oy. Never ever did that again.

Another time she wore was on this date with the boy who she thought was cute, and liked, but wasn't all thump thump in love with. But she wanted to be polite and agree to one date. It wouldn't hurt. Besides she could have been wrong and there could have been that OMG dreamy connection. Eh. I was stuck to a floor in the back of a movie theater. WHO SUGGESTS A SEAT IN THE VERY BACK ROW ON A FIRSt DATE?!!! I was telling my homegirl to run. I'd support her. He was clearly bad news. Anyways we're sitting there, and all the sudden my owner is feeling uncomfortable because her date is getting way too close. so she shifts, but I'm stuck to something. It's gooy and stringy. And EWWWWW it's Gum. Someone's nasty sticky mouth germs are on the bottom of me! Date is still trying to make the moves on my owner who isn't having it so she actually takes me and wipes my ickyness off on her dates pants. Yup. He's Not calling her again!

My shoes and I have been through a lot. This is only the first couple years I owned them. There are many stories to tell. 

What kind of stories can your shoes, watches, or even clothes tell?

1 comment:

  1. I love to personify an object. I personify my home a lot although my blog posts are about Camping with five children or writing about my adventures in college as a mother of five. I'm in the process of revising the memoir. This is a funny post. Thanks for sharing. ~Victoria Marie Lees